


A Mirror I Cannot Avoid

by DustyTales



Series: Ghost on the Dance Floor [8]
Category: Justice League - All Media Types, Titans (TV 2018), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Coming Out, M/M, Not terrible but not good, Team as Family, Trans Dick Grayson, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-06-29 05:59:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19823989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DustyTales/pseuds/DustyTales
Summary: After Kori gets a little too roughed up for comfort, Dick realizes his Titans don't have the resources to survive without the Justice League. Dick hasn't spoken to the League since his falling out with Bruce, but his team doesn't even have armor, so remaining in the shadows is no longer an option.Truths will have to be told.





	1. Caterwauling

**Author's Note:**

> I caught you caterwauling, giving grief  
> Thought you were cannonballing after me  
> I let your actions speak for themselves  
> And wished you well

The Titans very rarely found themselves in battle nowadays. With Kori being a bounty hunter, she put foes into the ground regularly, but being a fireball shooting alien, she didn't have any issues doing so.

But sometimes Kori got in over her head, as rare as that may be. Sometimes the Titans stumbled upon a crime in progress, and just can't stand to not step in.

But only Dick had armor. Not even Wally had a costume that fit anymore. And his new family jumping in harm's way without any protection was completely unacceptable to Dick. But there's only so many places a person can get specialized costumes for superheroes…

And Dick was absolutely not going to contact Batman. Because yeah, he'd matured a lot over the past year, but still… Fuck Batman.

Time for plan B.

"Does Barry know about us?" Dick asked Wally one night.

Wally cocked an eyebrow at Dick from the other side of the couch. As was pretty common for weekends, the two were splitting a six pack of crappy gas station beer and watching garbage television. Though some nights Kori would join them, she had crashed pretty early after a mission gone rough.

Which is what had sparked this train of thought to begin with.

"He knows I'm living with you," Wally answered after a long pull from the bottle, "But he doesn't know we're dating and I never mentioned the kids. Why?"

Dick shrugged, knocking back his bottle as well. "Just taking mental inventory, I guess. I'd rather stay out of the superhero community as much as I can, but seeing Kori tonight…"

Dick trailed off, but Wally nodded in understanding. The whole family had been distressed when Kori came home. Sure, she'd come home exhausted before, but not bloody and bruised like tonight. Kori had insisted that she was fine, but seeing her in that state had shaken the Titans to their roots.

"You looking for backup? Barry'd come in a heartbeat if I called, but I don't know if Kori would care for that." Wally answered skeptically.

Dick shook his head. "No, no. I was more thinking it's time for this team to formally suit up. Kori might be more willing to call us for backup if we had more than my stolen Robin suit between the four of us."

Wally's eyebrows shot up, and he eyed Dick down the neck of the bottle as he drained the last of it. "Dude. As much as I'd love for us all to be crime ready like the old days, the League is a gossip mill. Once we make contact again, The Bat will be on our doorstep in no time. Are you really ready for that?"

Dick let out a long sigh, popping the cap on his second beer. "I don't know," he answered truthfully, "But my family's safety is on the line here. So if I have to confront my daddy issues to keep us all safe, than its something that's gotta happen."

Wally smiled fondly at his partner. "Seeing you act like a real family man makes me all mushy inside." He teased.

Dick stuck his tongue out at Wally. "Like you're any better! You're just as much of a dad as I am!"

Wally laughed, scooting closer to his lover to wrap an arm around him. "Papa Robin and Daddy Roadrunner, huh? Just the two of us and our nest of misfits."

Dick stifled a giggle. "Please don't ever call yourself "daddy" again."

Wally nearly snorted beer out his nose, doubling over in laughter.

Several hours later, the two laughed themselves to exhaustion, and fell asleep on the sofa. It was a good Saturday night, in the end.

Dick had had the contact info for several members of the league the entire time, but there were reasons he'd kept them in the dark: Barry was as much of a motor mouth as his nephew, Diana would immediately make it her duty to repair Dick and Bruce's relationship, and Hal and Arthur were likely places a cell phone couldn't reach them anyway.

But Dick almost felt bad about how long it'd been since he'd spoken to Clark. Superman was almost like an uncle to him, he'd even playfully called him "Uncle Clark" when he was a kid. He truly cared about and trusted the man. But he knew Clark wouldn't have taken the rift between Dick and Bruce well; Clark would feel like he had to take a side, and Dick didn't have the heart to put him through that. He knew Clark and Bruce had become close (if rather awkward) friends over the many years they'd worked together. Sure, the two men never really saw eye to eye, but they'd been on the same team for too long to hate each other anymore. And Dick didn't want to be the spark to reignite their feud. 

But now Dick needed Clark's help: without Bruce, Clark was Dick's only access point to the League's resources, and to get what he needed, he had a lot to tell Clark.

Dick scrubbed a hand over his face as he looked down at his cellphone. This shouldn't be this hard, he and Clark had been close once. But Dick hadn't spoken to any of the League since his falling out with his adoptive father. He didn't even know what Bruce had told them all about Dick's disappearance.

It was the reminder that this was about the Gar and Rachel's safety that gave Dick the resolve to pull up Clark's contact. He typed out a message quickly before he lost his nerve.

_ Hey Clark, it's Dick. _

_ I know it's been a really long time, but I was actually hoping to catch up. A lot has changed on my end, and I don't know how much info has made it your way. Maybe we can grab some coffee? Talk shop, if you've got the time? _

_ Let me know. _

Dick got a response within ten minutes, though he guessed he shouldn't be surprised, Clark wasn't a man to leave people on read.

_ It's good to hear from you, Dick. Bruce won't tell us what happened or where you went, so I'll admit I was somewhat worried. _

_ But I've always got time for my nephew. Just give me a when and where. _

Dick smiled to himself. He could always count on Clark.

_ Wally and I were hoping to get you and Barry together at the same time since we have to catch you both up on so much. Wally and I are living together in Bludhaven right now, but it's a very long story so I'll save it for when I see you. _

Making plans from there was easy, since Barry had wanted to come visit Wally for a while.

All that was left to do was wait.


	2. Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First time I met you I was full of fear  
> Knew that eventually you'd disappear  
> Just when I needed you you'd burn to smoke  
> And off you'd go

Dick and Wally went back and forth for a long time on where they should meet with Clark and Barry. On one hand, discussing sensitive information in public seemed really  _ really  _ stupid, but on the other, inviting them to the Titans safe house might give the older men a heart attack. Clark and Barry didn't know about Kori, Gar, or Rachel, and throwing that all at them at once would likely leave them shell-shocked.

Eventually they decided to invite them over for coffee while the kids were at school. Dick and Wally both knew Kori would be listening from back in her room, but they also knew Kori loved to eavesdrop and likely wouldn't butt in unless she had something important (or snarky) to add. 

Dick was pacing the living room, while Wally sat at the kitchen table chewing on the end of his dummy. Neither of them felt ready for this, but their wants had very little to do with it anymore.

There was a knock at the door, and Wally jumped up so quickly he blurred from the speed. Dick bit his lips as he got up to answer the door: Wally must be just as nervous as him to be using his powers unintentionally. 

As the door swung open, Dick was greeted by Clark's dazzling smile. Barry stood just behind him, as Clark's wide shoulders took up the entire doorway, but his smile was no less genuine. Dick felt a knot loosen in his chest. 

"It's good to see you guys," Dick greeted, stepping aside to let them into the house.

The two older heroes slipped past him, but when Clark turned to sweep Dick up in a hug, he jumped.

"It's so good to see you doing well," Clark said instead of a greeting, hugging his "nephew" so tight to his chest Dick felt his back pop. "It's been so long since anyone saw you, when I heard you were living in Bludhaven I was worried I'd find you in some slum."

Dick laughed breathlessly. "I'm choosing to not be offended by that." He squirmed to escape the hug, being reminded he was in the arms of  _ Superman _ when said arms did not give in the slightest.

Clark chuckled, letting go of Dick when he noticed how the smaller man struggled. "Sorry, Dick. But with Bruce refusing to say a word about you, it was hard not to assume the worst."

"That and Supes is in full on dad mode now that Lois is expecting." Barry quipped.

The two speedsters had already settled in at the kitchen table, leisurely sipping coffee and digging into the leftover muffins Rachel had baked that morning.

Dick did a double take, gaping at Clark. "Lois is  _ pregnant?!" _

Clark laughed again, a booming sound that Dick had dearly missed. "I had thought I'd have to push you to catch up before we talked business, but I guess not. You kids catch us up first, and I'll tell you all you want to know about Lois."

Wally rolled his eyes. "How old do we have to get before you stop calling us kids?"

"When your title stops having the word "kid" in it." Barry deadpanned as Dick and Clark settled in at the table.

Wally glared half-heartedly at his mentor. "I'm kinda stuck with "Kid Flash" since just "Flash" is taken, but I might just steal it from you anyway."

"Commissioning new costumes was actually why I called you guys up," Dick interrupts, "Wally and I have been wanting to hang up our sidekick identities."

"So you need Justice League resources." Clark finished, cupping his chin thoughtfully, "I don't see why that would be a problem, but back up for me, here. It's been nearly 2 years since anyone has seen you, Dick. What's been going on? How did you end up out here?"

Dick sighed, feeling anxiety build in his chest. It was only feeling Wally take his hand under the table that gave the younger man the strength to speak.

"What happened between Bruce and I was… complicated," Dick struggled, "But to put it mildly, we had a falling out. In a way, he… fired me, but it wasn't unforseen on my part, so I had a contingency plan. Bruce turned around and acted like he didn't run me out of Gotham, but he said some things during our last fight that made me feel like I couldn't stay there anymore. Things he can't take back… not that  _ Batman _ would ever apologize." Dick sneered, bitterness on full display.

Clark's brow was pinched in worry. "Dick… why didn't you tell us? You could have come to me."

Just like Superman to somehow make this black and white, like there was a  _ solution.  _

"Because you and Bruce are friends?" Dick answered, tone making it clear he felt this was a stupid question, "I didn't want this to become a fight where you and the rest of the League had to pick sides. I  _ still  _ don't want that. So I moved to Bludhaven, joined the Force. I had meant to hang up Robin forever, but…"

"But once you put on the costume, you can't just take it off," Barry offered, "Probably even harder for heroes like you and Wally, who grew up with it as part of you."

Dick nodded, thankful for Barry's assistance in finding his voice. 

"I actually did hang up the cape for a while. Worked with the force, did it by the books as much as I could. But then… well, it's not really my story to tell, but I got dragged into a tornado of magic stuff when a metahuman came into the station looking for help and well, long story short… I guess I'm leading my own team now." Dick found himself smiling nervously at the abrupt end of his story, but he wasn't going to tell Clark and Barry about the crap the team went through when they met. That was Rachel's story to tell, and he wasn't about to break his sort-of daughter's trust like that.

Barry's eyebrows shot up, and Clark tilted his head thoughtfully. 

"If you and Wally are going to work with The Justice League, it might benefit you to register your team as an affiliate," Clark mused, "Than you can access to all the resources you need without having to go behind Bruce's back."

"Affiliate?" Wally questioned, "When did the League get so… corporate?"

Barry rolled his eyes. "When Bats got entirely too much time on his hands after Dick vanished in a puff of smoke."

Dick winced and Barry audibly snapped his mouth shut.

"Not that I'm blaming you for anything!" The older speedster backpedaled, "Bruce is probably the most emotionally constipated human being on Earth, I'm shocked your sanity survived being his partner for as long as you were!"

Wally rolled his eyes, his dummy bobbing between his lips as he spoke. "What'd I tell ya? Babbling like an idiot comes with being a speedster."

The Flash glared at his former sidekick, but before he could respond, Clark spoke up again.

"The Gotham Inquirer has been publishing article after article about you taking in street kids," Clark said to Dick, "I'm assuming these two things are related?"

Dick swallowed thickly, but sighed. He wouldn't lie to Clark and Barry, just the idea felt wrong… but he felt like the truth made him look like a man grooming child soldiers.

Out of sight, Wally squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Dick felt stronger.

"We're a five man team," Dick said carefully, "Me, Wally, Gar, Rachel, and Kori. We needed a cover for our safe house, and well… Gar and Rachel are teenagers. And since they're orphans, it just made the most sense for me to… adopt them." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, avoiding the gazes of the older men.

Clark and Barry looked at each other, blinking rapidly, but before they could voice their concerns, Wally beat them to the punch.

"I know it sounds all irresponsible when we have to explain it," Wally defended, "But Gar and Rachel are older than me and Dick were when we first put on the costume. The Titans formed naturally around a group of wannabe heroes who needed someone to have their back, and now we have that. The Titans aren't just a team, we're a family."

Barry put his hands up in a motion of surrender. "Woahwoahwoah! Calm down, kiddo. No one's trying to break up what you have here."

Wally sat back in his chair with a huff. Barry and Clark exchanged another look, and when the older speedster turned back to the younger, his eyes were narrowed.

"That doesn't explain how you got wrapped up in this, Wally." The blonde questioned.

The younger speedster looked away, coughing nervously. "O-oh! Well… the thing about that is…"

Something about Wally's anxiety brought a flush to Dick's cheeks, and as Clark looked between the two men, he grinned.

"I always thought the two of you had chemistry." The kryptonian commented.

Barry furrowed his brow, looking between the three other men at the table, before realization dawned on his face.

"Hold on… since when are you even into men?" The Flash asked his sidekick.

Wally looked thunderstruck, but he was saved having to answer by Superman.

"Is that really the most important question here?" Clark asked, smile so forced Dick worried for the state of his jaw.

It was Barry's turn to look shocked, though his expression quickly melted into horror.

"Shit, that sounds- I put my foot in my mouth again," The speedster babbled, "Of course I'm happy for you boys! I didn't see this coming, but that's not an excuse for me to- I'm sorry, Wally, your sexuality is none of my business. I'm not concerned about your choice of partner, I'm concerned about you jumping into something right after a traumatic experience."

Dick felt Wally relax through their joined hands. As if having the same thought, they both brought their intertwined fingers up to the top of the table, as if the sight might help cement things for the older heroes. Barry carefully hid the surprise on his face, where as Clark smiled fondly.

"I understand why you'd worry about that, really, I do," Wally answered his mentor, "But my time off world really helped me realize what mattered to me. The way I found my way home was through a concept another speedster introduced me to called a "lightning rod." He said if I re-entered the speed force, someone I really cared about could pull me back home. I tried to use you, Barry. I tried to use Iris. But in the end… it was Dickie who called me back." Wally blushed slightly, gently nudging his shoulder against his boyfriend's, "He's it for me. My lighting rod. My everything."

Dick's chest felt fit to burst. He'd heard this story before, but somehow it meant so much more out in the open than behind closed doors.

"Wally," Dick murmured, ducking his head as he blushed up to his ears, "I love you too, you big sap."

"They're like this all the time, it's really insufferable."

All eyes snapped to a previously ignored hallway, in which stood a smirking Kori.

Barry and Clark burst out laughing, where as Dick could only groan.

"Clark, Barry, this is Kori," he grumbled, "Kori, meet Superman and The Flash."

Kori nodded to the two guests, plopping herself down on the couch. "Any chance they'll be staying until the kids get home? I'd love to see Garfield's face when he first meets  _ The Justice League." _

Dick and Wally couldn't help but chuckle at the thought.

"Well," Clark pondered, cupping his chin dramatically, "We do need all five of you for the paperwork. And I  _ did  _ promise to tell you about Lois."

"Yeah, old Supes is gonna be dad! Who thought he had it in him?" Barry nudged his fellow hero, spirits clearly lifted.

And as Clark began to go on about how excited he was about the arrival of his baby boy, Dick felt the last bit of tension bleed from his shoulders. He looked over to his lover, who wore an equally genuine smile, and felt certain:

Everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasp* But wait? There's still one chapter left?!  
> There sure is  
> Prepare to hurt


	3. I'll Try Not to Judge You More Than You Would

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day comes. Nothing goes as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But you're a mirror I cannot void  
> Strung out and jittery and paranoid  
> A leaky battery that cant keep charged  
> Get in the car  
> And say what you mean  
> Explain yourself to me  
> And Ill try not to judge you more than you would

Working with the Justice League proved to be an interesting affair. For one, registering the Titans as an affiliate was just as stupid and corperate as Dick had imagined, but the only other option was to petition for a seat, at which point the Titans would be at the League's call. The very idea of his entire family having to drop everything because  _ Bruce  _ needed their help turned Dick's stomach. As an affiliate, the Titans would only be called in for real catastrophes, and retain their right to say no to any given mission.

No one being allowed to pull  _ his _ kids out of school without  _ his _ say so was non-negotiable for Dick.

Access to League resources was proving to be pretty sweet though. Their scientists were currently developing a suit that could withstand Gar's transformations, which was something the teen never even dreamed of. Kori also had access to as much information on alien species as she wished, though thus far the idea was a bit too overwhelming to consider. They even knew more about Rachel's brand of magic, and could offer guidance in the teen's journey towards control.

Dick didn't regret making contact for even a moment, but that didn't mean all was sunshine and rainbows. It never was, and it never would be.

The team had been forced to register their own secret identities, and while the newer heroes settling on their very own "superhero titles" was exciting for them, Dick found himself immediately reminded of his new proximity to Bruce. When Dick had attempted to add "Robin" to the list under Kid Flash, Raven, Beast Boy, and Starfire, the computer had beeped angrily at him, and informed him that the name "Robin" was already in use by one Jason Todd.

Wally suggested there may be a work around, but Dick had merely sighed and conceded that Robin wasn't his anymore, and now, when it was time for a suit upgrade, was the time to accept that. Dick drew up a new, lighter suit, built for him to move back to the acrobatics he's been raised on and let go of his heavy hitter fighting style. Training on the bars to do flips again felt so very  _ right _ , and he knew that this new identity would be all him, a man Mary and John Grayson could be proud of.

He colored the new, near skin tight suit black and blue, a small, private reference to Wally's love of calling him blue bird. Even if the name blue bird was a little too feminine to be his choice to go on his paperwork, the proud avian silhouette fanned out in blue across his chest just felt  _ right. _

The name to go in the blinking text box would be Nightwing, the name of a kryptonian hero a young Dick had fallen in love with when hearing his "Uncle" Clark's stories. This time, when Dick put on the mask and looked in the mirror, he didn't see the dead eyes of The Batman looking back. He finally, finally, saw his own blue eyes staring back at him.

Dick still had yet to speak to Bruce, and he planned to keep it that way for as long as he was allowed. He knew that the day the two spoke again would be an explosion, and he didn't want the Justice League or his Titans caught in the crossfire.

But the day of reckoning would come, he knew it would.

Nightwing was perched on the corner of a building, looking down into the ally below where Raven and Beast Boy prowled, training under the watchful eyes of Starfire and Kid Flash. Rachel was currently working on levitation, where as Gar was testing the league's theory that his transformations could be broader than just tigers. 

His team was really shaping up, and Dick was proud.

Foot falls coming up on his 6 pulled Nightwing immediately into autopilot, flipping backwards off the ledge to land on the roof behind him in a defensive crouch. As he soared through the air over his would be attacker, the black cape billowing out below him left Dick faltering, skidding to a stop behind the man rather than landing lightly as he'd intended.

The Batman turned to meet Dick's gaze, mouth a hard line. Dick found himself curling back his lip in a grimace.

"This isn't your territory," He rumbled.

The voice his foster father answered back in was very much the voice of The Batman.

"This is getting out of hand." The older man growled.

Dick fought the urge to bare his teeth like an animal.

"What, exactly, is out of hand about me making a name for myself out from the Bat's shadow?"

"You really want me to believe you're not just doing all this to spite me?" Bruce asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Nightwing stood, relaxing his posture in spite of himself and staring at his mentor in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Bruce huffed. "Don't play dumb with me, Wing. You storm out of my city, steal my tech, and even though I did everything I could to help you, you form your own team so you get to do things your way. Than you even have the nerve to spit in the face of everything I taught you by registering with  _ my  _ league, under my long time rival's name!"

Dick blinked at Bruce, confusion obvious even on his half covered face. "Are you really so arrogant to think everything I do revolves around you?!" Dick snapped, outraged, "Last time we spoke you made it pretty damn clear you didn't want me around anymore! So yeah, I threw away the suit, and everything it represented. But not because of _you,_ you egotistical fuck! I did it because I've finally found a job and a team that makes me happy, and I wanted to start my new life outside of your shadow!" Dick huffed, scowling again, "But we sure as hell can't have that can we? Everythings gotta be about _you,_ doesn't it, B?!"

Bruce was quiet for a moment, and Dick knew him well enough to know his eyes were narrowed under the lenses of the cowl.

"This makes you happy? Adopting random street punks and living in the one city in the damn state worse than Gotham?"

A growl of "Don't call my kids punks," Was all Nightwing graced him with.

The Batman let out a long suffering sigh, and when he spoke again, his voice didn't sound like that of The Dark Knight anymore.

For the first time all night, he just sounded like Bruce.

"I'm sorry, son," Bruce muttered, sounding defeated, "I was worried about your anger issues, and I took it out on you in a way that disgusts me now. But from what I've heard… you've grown into a hell of a man. And I'm proud of you."

Dick felt a mix of pride and anger swirl in his belly, and despite Bruce's obvious sincerity, Dick bared his teeth.

"I don't care if you're sorry," he growled, "I care if you meant it. Sorry doesn't take back the shit you said to me that night, Bruce. Apologize all you want, but if that's really how you feel about me, sorry ain't gonna cut it."

"What did you say to him?" Came a cold voice from behind the bat.

Bruce turned, and found himself staring down the glowing eyes of Kori.

"Tell them." Dick prompted, feeling stronger as Wally zipped to his side, while Rachel and Gar (still in tiger form) flanked the furious alien.

Bruce turned just enough to look at Dick while still keeping a wary eye on the other Titans.

"Dick, I was angry, I didn't-"

"Tell them!" Dick screamed, tears pricking at his eyes under his domino, "Tell them how you said I was a failure! That you should have taken in an  _ actual  _ boy so you wouldn't have been stuck with a delusional  _ freak  _ for a son!"

The tiger growled, taking a step closer to Batman, but stopped when Kori touched Gar's shoulder. Though her eyes still glowed with an otherworldly light, she nodded to Dick instead of speaking.

Batman turned fully to Nightwing, frown becoming sad rather than his trademark scowl.

"I was wrong," Bruce said, voice uncharacteristically soft, "I said it because I knew it would hurt, not because I believed it. But that's not an excuse, if anything that makes it worse."

Dick looked at his foster parent for a long moment before he spoke. "I'm not your son," Dick rumbled, "Don't pretend fostering someone and adopting them are the same. Don't expect me to ever think of you as my father, not after this. But…" Dick sighed, "Prove to me you respect me, that you'll let me live my life how I choose, and maybe you'll earn the right to call me your apprentice again."

"What can I do?" Bruce asked without hesitation, which lifted Dick's spirits just just a touch.

"Get out of my city," Nightwing commanded, "Stop peeking in on my team. Stop tracking me. Stop  _ stalking  _ me. Prove to me you can let me live without trying to control me, and maybe I'll see you around the cave. When  _ I'm _ ready, and not before."

The Batman dipped his head without a word, and with a shot from his grapple and sweep of his cape, he was gone.

Lightning cracked in the distance as a light rain began to fall. Dick stared into the distance in silence, uncaring as his hair soaked through and fell into his eyes.

He heard Kori mumble to him that they'd give him some space, to which he could only nod numbly. He heard the Titans' wet footsteps retreat into the distance as he stared at the dark clouds on the horizon through the spaces between his bangs. He felt like he should be relieved. He'd been dreading this day for years now, but even knowing it was finally over didn't ease the tightness in his chest. His heart felt heavy for reasons he couldn't begin to describe.

A hand gently sweeping his wet locks back from his mask brought his gaze to his boyfriend, who smiled softly at him from under his new red cowl. 

"Hey blue bird," Wally whispered, holding Dick's face gently, "Wanna head home, take a bath? I'll even wash your hair."

Dick smiled back at Wally, nuzzling into his palm.

"Yeah," Dick muttered back, "I'd like that a lot."


End file.
